The Occasional Mouse

I had a mouse that would make an appearance in my home every so often. I never actually saw it, but knew it had been foraging in my pantry after noting a pile of sawdust from some container it tried to gnaw through, or a few droppings here and there. Once, there was a Hershey bar on the floor of my kitchen that must have been buried in the back of the pantry because I had no idea it was there. I wish I had known because I would have eaten it before the mouse got to it.

While disturbed that this was occurring, never actually seeing the mouse convinced me it had really done no harm; out of sight, out of mind. I imagined it had taken tiny tidbits back to its little mouse family, wherever they may be (hopefully, living outside somewhere), and it seemed to happen only occasionally.

My love of animals allowed me to overlook this small infraction of wildlife in my home. My active imagination allowed me to see a caricature in my mind rather than the real thing.

While I wanted to fix the problem, I did not want to see a mouse corpse. I just couldn’t do it. So the occasional mouse was ignored---until a few months later.

Why I believed there was just one mouse is beyond me. To my horror, I saw signs that the now more than occasional mouse had been lounging in a utility drawer. After this, I noticed mouse prints on a dusty shelf inside an entertainment cabinet in the living room (where there is no food) and realized that I had completely lulled myself into a false sense of security.

This was no occasional anything; a gang was roaming the house. I had two cats. How could this happen?

I finally called a pest control company after realizing my homemade remedy of sprayed eucalyptus oil and my traitor cats were not going to deter the inevitable - damage that would be expensive. The company placed food traps throughout the house and assured me I would never see a mouse corpse in my home. I liked that idea.

The remedy worked for a while, and, again, I was lulled into a false sense of security. One morning, I arose to find an empty bowl on my kitchen counter which, the day before, had contained a lot of chocolate covered almonds. Oddly, there were NO typical signs of mice anywhere. And no almonds...anywhere. It defied explanation. A mouse fire brigade passing almonds down the line till they reached outdoors? Or, maybe a ghost that likes chocolate?

It goes without saying that, since this incident, I have never really felt secure walking barefoot into my dark kitchen at night, and I never leave food on the counter.

That occasional mouse, seemingly harmless......What a wonderful analogy for all those nagging little habits we acquire over the years. Many of them seem so innocuous, so innocent; nothing that could cause any harm – really.

Initially, small inconveniences may result from these habits, and they are acknowledged, only occasionally. But after months or years of ignoring them, bigger problems can arise until we find ourselves in a predicament that is most uncomfortable. The results can affect us physically, mentally, spiritually and most likely, impact others around us in some way. They may harm relationships, our own health, our financial future, our peace of mind.

Unfortunately, it often takes an unpleasant event to let us know that we can no longer ignore this habitual thought or action or that previous efforts to change no longer work. We may decide or be forced, at some point, to find an exterminator of sorts, to drive out the offending habits that have become a part of us and remedy the resulting issues they have caused.

I think most of us prefer resolving our personal issues on our own, but this is not always possible when we have put off dealing with something for a long time. In my case, I found myself in a situation that seemed to spring on me when I least expected it. I panicked and only after a great deal of introspection did I admit that I had brought this ordeal on myself - habits gone unchecked over the years had finally come to roost in a most unpleasant manner.

I felt out of control and, on many levels, hopeless. Once I had the awareness of what had happened, I was incredulous that I had not acted sooner or had not taken things more seriously. It was painful to admit how my own actions played a role. I am convinced that this honesty is essential in finding lasting solutions to our problems.

But even with this revelation, it's difficult to determine how to proceed when we feel hopeless.

For me, the most logical first step is personal prayer. If you don't know already, there is a Heavenly Father, or God, who loves us and wants the best for us. Speaking with him and asking for help gets the ball rolling. Through prayer, we acknowledge our weakness to one who already knows and loves us in spite of it. Through prayer, the thing we've been carrying around becomes less powerful as the words we say disperse in the air around us. Through prayer, we are giving permission for a higher power to step in, send inspiration, and enlighten us in ways we did not think possible.

Miracles can happen when we humble ourselves enough to confess our weaknesses and have faith that help will be forthcoming.

In my case, my next step was asking for help. After many prayers, I was in a meeting with some lovely women that I really trusted. We were discussing things related to helping others in our sphere of influence. One of the women turned to me and asked, "So how are you doing?" It was as if a brick had been removed from a dyke and the waters began to flow. Through tears, I told them of my issue, in enough detail to explain the resulting problem I felt unable to fix on my own. They were compassionate and, while they may not have fully understood, they helped. One referred me to someone else to speak with and gave advice. Another offered her own talents to aid me in resolution.

Oddly, while I felt more vulnerable than I ever have, I was relieved. Just voicing my problem aloud, greatly lessened the burden I had been carrying. I felt I had options in front of me; actions I could take, with the help of others, to lighten my load and help me move on. I knew that this chain of events happened in response to my prayerful pleas for help.

And, while it may not be easy to ask for help from others because we might be considered weak or show others we have faults, I have found that there are those who are happy and even feel honored to be asked for help; friends and strangers alike.

Lastly, and most difficult, is taking action. I did not want to call the exterminator to eliminate the mice, I do not want to have to work on my shortcomings. This is a mute point for we are all here to learn what the soul is to learn. But, I find that as I tell myself to keep moving forward, and as I continually touch base with God in prayer, I am fortified in my efforts and I am more aware of those occasional behaviors that arise. And when and if I weaken or fail to live up to new standards, I begin again.